Kindness, Beauty, Truth

“I do not believe in human freedom in the philosophical sense.  Everybody acts under external compulsion and in accordance with inner necessity.  “A person can do what he wants, but he cannot want what he wants”.  This has been an inspiration and continual consolation in the face of life’s hardships, my own and others.  This realization mitigates my sense of responsibility, prevents me from taking myself too seriously, and in particular allows me to look with some humor on sad events beyond my control.  I have never looked on material comforts, ease and happiness as ends in themselves.  The ideals that have lighted my way and time after time and have given me courage to face life cheerfully have been Kindness, Beauty and Truth.  And without the kinship with other people of like mind life would seem empty to me.”                            These are words of Albert Einstein and I love them. The lesson of the importance of Kindness, Beauty and Truth as ideals is just wonderful. I remind myself of it as often as I can. I incorporate them into the fabric of my thinking. Whenever I find something that sticks out to me like this, I read it over and over until my interpretation of it becomes a part of me - until it becomes a part of the way I think through things.  I received this quote in 2006 so this one is still in that pretty early process of becoming me, but I find myself coming back to it a lot, and thinking about it. That’s an important part of the process and I enjoy it every step of the way.

Don’t give up on my dreams

I know it is very important to stay in the present and living in reality is very important to guide my life forward into the direction that I want my future.  I also believe that keeping my dreams alive is very important to keep my hopeful and motivated that life will not always be a drudge and bleak.  I love to sing and I want to have that in my life. I started an inspirational choir when I worked at Prudential. It was so fun – our name was “Voices of the Rock” and we sang at special events at the company and out in the community. I had about 40 people involved from all areas of the company. It was one of the best things that I remember about the past 10 years. I would love to do it again, but better.  My plan would be to have an auditioned choir of 25 to 30 mixed adults and 20 to 25 auditioned high school students. Students would be actively mentored by the adults, and be eligible for a music scholarship if they complete the program.  There are so many things that could be taught and established into the program. It would consist of music, performance, as well as the mentor program, even public health related issues could be introduced and behavior and proper manners could be taught as part of the program.  All of the arts could be incorporated and it could be fantastic. I am planning on starting to write a proposal as soon as possible. I am at Yale – this would be a perfect place for this idea to come to pass.  I love to cook and bake. I loved catering and creating food for people. It was one of the things I most enjoyed about my prior life. I would love to do more of it.  I would really like to do a cooking show. It would be named “Great Beginnings & Happy Endings” and would concentrate on appetizers and desserts….my most favorite foods! There are a lot of formats that could be used for that and I am always coming up with new ideas. I would like to follow up with some acting lessons and pursue this idea further. Who knows what will happen in the future.  I just know that I don’t want to give up on these dreams….they are very important to keep me moving forward through the grind of life when everything I am doing is not what I want to do.

Relationships

People are very complicated. Each and every relationship that I experience teaches me that they are as different as the snowflakes.  The complexity of relationships is an on going learning experience. It is another something I can never just figure out and say I have learned it. I just have to stay open to the nuances and the uniqueness of each person and how the dynamic of their life experiences and learning reflects into the relationship I have with them. The more aware I am to stay open to others and not to try to place my will on the relationship the more I stay in balance with my own complications.

            And so it all goes back to working on me and letting every one else be accountable for their ideas and relationships.

Learn to be content

What exactly does it mean?  According to Wikipedia: Contentment refers to the neuro-physiological experience of satisfaction and being at ease in one’s situation, body, and/or mind. In a Buddhist sense, it is the freedom from anxiety, want or need. Contentment is the goal behind all goals because once achieved there is nothing to seek until it is lost. A living system cannot maintain contentment for very long as complete balance and harmony of forces means death. Living systems are a complex dance of forces which find a stability far from balance. Any attainment of balance is quickly met by rising pain which ends the momentary experience of satisfaction or contentment achieved. Buddha’s task was to find the solution to this never ending descent into dissatisfaction or Dukkha. The buddhist faith is based on the belief that he succeeded.   To me great contentment is when you are able to sit on the porch looking at the beauty that God made surrounding you, with a hot cup of coffee and nothing on your mind.  To drink in nature and commune in a silent, grateful, prayerful state without forcing words through your mind or your mouth. Just letting the thoughts slide through….coming and going as they will and feeling complete peace in your soul.  Just to feel peace and be in the moment of living. Not expecting anything. Just feeling quite wonderful, not happy, not sad, just wonderful….very human and very alive. It is interesting, because in the last couple of years in some of my toughest times I am experiencing a lot of these wonderful moments of contentment. It is a complete surrender to the will of God and the Universe and it is truly a wonderful thing.

Sing!

Some of my earliest childhood memories were of singing. Singing in the car, under the table, at church, outside on the mountain and in my most desperate hours I have sung to God and to keep me going – when I sing I cannot lose hope.  Singing brings me a sense of satisfaction and expression that nothing else in my life brings me.  I was never allowed to show a lot of emotion growing up. In our church, women were not allowed to speak in the services, only the men. Thankfully we were allowed to sing. I wasn’t allowed to dance or act in plays or even really talk about what I was feeling or ask questions about things that I doubted, but when I sang I was able to feel my emotions coming out and that was vitally important to me.  In my mind, it is one of the most important parts of who I am.

Concerning baggage

We all have it! I have a lot and I acknowledge that fact. Every day I seem to gather more even when I don’t want it – it follows me around everywhere and is very hard to lose. It takes a lot of work and I have to actively participate in the process of getting rid of it.  Writing this is the beginning of trying to lose a whole lot that I have stored in my life for many years. I am not sure how long it will take to recycle it into some useful life experience. I hope I am ready and prepared for the work ahead!

Forget the words “I can’t”

After I began to live and to learn I really caught on to the fact that I did not want to limit myself in any respect. I decided to never say the “I can’t” to anything.  That does not mean that I am arrogant or that I believe that I am just so perfect that I can do anything. It means that I will try to figure out anything to the best of my ability and then if I need help I will ask. If it’s not within my power to understand I will seek professional help, but I will not start with the assumption that I cannot do anything that any reasonably intelligent person can do. It is all about learning and I know I can learn! Therefore there is no reason for me to say the words “I can’t”.

Smile

 a smile is the best accessory you can wear

                                                                  -unknown

 I have a couple of secrets to feeling good. I wear what makes me feel good, lots of color and I smile as much as possible. It just makes me feel good! I am a people lover. I really like almost everyone I meet. I think people are fascinating and I watch them all the time. It is one of the ways I evaluate how I want to present myself. I take inspiration from people watching all the time. What to do and especially what not to do!  It is so interesting to go from what they wear and how it presents them and then compare it to what they do and who they think they are. It is especially interesting to see what is in their expression and what they show on their faces and how that reflects their attitude or how it ages them or makes them years younger than they really are.  One of the most attractive things I find is someone who smiles. It is almost unusual when you find someone smiling! I love it. It makes my day and I know I am not the only one. When someone comes into a room smiling the whole room notices. It is like things brighten.  I find that people who don’t smile remind me to smile, and so I get reminded of it very often. I try to find as much to smile about as possible. I know it is not only good for the people who look at me from the outside it makes me feel better on the inside as well.  When I smile my whole attitude responds in a positive direction and I like it!

 

Look at the big picture

I have known a lot of people who have a hard time seeing the big picture or thinking long term. Everything is short term or immediate gratification.  Thankfully, I can see the big picture and I seem to be able to not only think long term, and be able to see all sides of pretty much any issue.  I can feel empathy and see other people’s points of view that differ from mine and understand why they think that way.  I don’t really know if this is something that can be learned or is just a part of who I am. I think maybe it has gotten stronger as I have walked this road and a lot of it comes from being so open to learning and ideas and I feel I am very fortunate to have this gift.  Looking at the big picture has given me hope and focus in this journey that I have been on and it continues as the adventure unfolds.

My circumstances do not define me - Try very hard to stay objective (judging others)

There was a very important lesson that I learned when I went through being involved in a “scandalous” relationship. People were judging me and making things up. There were these terrible stories going around and almost all of it was not true.  The truth of who I was and the motivations of my heart were so different than what was being said and probably still are. It was this huge glaring lesson to me and I have tried to learn it well.  I could not place blame on the people that were judging me, I would have judged myself the same way before I went through it. It gave me such a new way of looking at everything.  Even now, I have first impressions or I find myself thinking things based on someone’s statements and I kick myself because I know the harm of judging. I have no idea what has brought another person to where they are in life and it is not my place to interpret – it is my place to reach out and accept them with as much love and understanding as I can, and allow God to do the rest.  I pray that I never forget the value of this lesson and always keep it current in my daily principles.